Challenge within a challenge: Girl power praise

A few months ago Paperchase, one of my favourite shops started selling a card set with strong messages that caught my eye. I bought a few to begin with to send to a few women in my life.

The question that came to me immediately was who would I write the cards to? With social media and wanting to tell people about positive things, if I missed someone out they might question why they didn’t get a card? So I tried to write to as many women that were in my life as I could. These ranged from relatives, old work colleagues and close friends.

In each card I wrote what I admired about that person, applauded any changes or challenges they had been through and how if they were having a tough day, reading the card would give them a boost. Writing the cards was not to get likes or Facebook posts dedicated to me. Of course, it would have been nice to have an acknowledgement for receiving the card, for the simple reason to check whether Royal Mail was working and that it had not have been lost in the post, but I was fine without it. I didn’t contact people asking if they had received their card. If I did that, it felt like I was chasing praise, which I did not want. I asked one of my sisters if she received a card and it was awkward as she didn’t realise she had to tell me that she got her card.

I then expanded writing cards to friends that were fading or had faded for my life. It wasn’t a sign for them to give our friendship another go, far from it. The reason I wrote to this group of people was that they had all contributed in a small way to being who I am today.

Once the ball was rolling on writing the cards, I wrote to four women that had helped my career in someway. It’s not everyday you can express gratitude for somebody that has helped, supported or stood up for you in your career, so I took this as an opportunity to do so.

The whole process wasn’t easy. There were some cards I struggled to write. This was when it took time to come up with things I admired about that person; this could be due to me not knowing that person very well, or their strengths not being so prominent in comparison to others. Or if one of the fading friends had hurt me in the past, could I move on from that or not?

Like most of my projects/tasks/challenges I give myself, it turned out way bigger than I thought. I wrote to 67 women in total. (Two cards has yet to be posted as I haven’t got their addresses even though I asked.) Around a third of the women I wrote I got no reply, and that’s really okay. Some people do not know how to deal with random gratitude that comes through the letterbox. A few sent me a brief message saying thank you, others stated what traits they admired in me which wasn’t the intention and it made me feel a bit uneasy as it would come off that this was a boosting my own ego project which wasn’t the case. A few replies provided me with closure on certain friendships that had been in the balance. I felt I could draw a line and move on. One even wrote saying they had been a terrible friend and I shouldn’t have wasted my time writing to them. As I’m living till 105, I got a few minutes to spare.

There was one message that stood out from all the rest, and that was from my old friend Kirsty. We had in fact been best friends since sixth form and I was her maid of honour at her wedding. Then three years ago she stopped replying to my messages for no reason. There was no big argument, no big event or scene, she just disappeared. It took a long time to accept and move on. I often thought it was because I didn’t have children and she did and wanted to hang out only with other mums. However that didn’t make sense as she had said when she was pregnant she wanted to still be friends so she had some entertainment in her life.

Her card was one of the toughest cards to write. Questions of should I leave her in the past or not went through my mind. There was no guarantee of a reply, would I be okay with a reply furthermore? There might have been something I’d done wrong that hadn’t realised. She sent two messages to me within a day of each other. The first thanking me, and I saw that as closure. But then a second message came and it said about how she’d been going through a tough time over the past few years and she got into a bad crowd and lost contact with some people including myself. The cards although intentionally were set out to give people a boost, it also gave an opportunity to make amends.

I’m not sure what the future holds for my friendship with Kirsty, I’ve said we can try and rebuild it, and we have met up a couple of times since the card, and a third time to meet up has been arranged.

I’ve found at first writing the cards was a bit odd, but the more I wrote to people and thought about the highs and lows these women had been through, the easier it was to praise their achievements and their strength.

Gratitude and praise is an area that can be tricky. It’s far more easier to see the negative and complain about things. Praising somebody’s personality and achievements takes a lot more effort. With some of the letters women said it came through at the right time; they’d been having a tough week or day and it lifted their spirits. It may not be for everyone, but I’m glad I took the time to write to those 67 women. Maybe try writing to one person you admire, as corny as it sounds it may make their day!

Screenwriting: Giving it a polish

A few weeks ago I finished writing my 4th feature film. It was an animated film, and it’s a genre of film that I haven’t written an animated film before and boy was it tough! You’d think that as it is aimed at a younger audience, the material would be easier to write, but I found it to be the complete opposite. And as a result the write took way longer than I thought it would. But I preserved, and the reason being is that I know I have a unique idea. When I told it to others, it got their interest and they asked more questions. With the level of interest, it was a challenge to see whether I could put my unique ideas into well-formed compelling characters and plot.

When it came to writing I put too much pressure on the opening ten minutes. The first ten minutes of any film is there to hook the audience, get them to start connecting with plot and character. With an animated film, I think there is added pressure to make sure you’ve got a younger audiences attention straight away, otherwise you’ve lost them.

I also put a lot of pressure on trying to make the screenplay funny, and at some point in the process I made a decision to focus on getting the story on the page, and adding the humour in later.

So what now? I met several people at the London Screenwriters Festival who wanted to read the screenplay once it was complete. Now it’s time to test the waters and see if there still want to. I’ve already got one yes, and I’m hoping for a few more yes’s to get balanced feedback.

One of the areas which I am weak in is scene descriptions. I immediately think that the reader knows exactly what is happening on the page, but without much description to go on. .

Reading the screenplay there were a couple of plot hole areas that I need to solve. Simple ones like characters knowing other characters names before they’d even met or been introduced. A few more lines of dialogue would solve this.

The screenplay came in at 86 pages, and the usual for an animated film is 90 pages, so the good news is I have a few pages to play around with and hopefully inject some more humour. I’ve already got a few good ideas for extra scenes.

One of my new years resolutions is to do something with screenwriting everyday; whether it be writing or reading about screenwriting itself, or listening to related podcasts. Some days I fall behind but I catch up. I’ve read a great deal of really useful articles from Screencraft on their blog section about different elements of screenwriting, so I’ll use some of their techniques they suggest in the polish.

So now to spring clean my screenplay!

Thoughtful presents: Detective Bob and Bev

Buying Christmas presents can be a tricky thing as you’d always like people to use your presents and not just give them to a charity shop on the first instance. For my parents Christmas present I thought I’d create a joint present that they would both use.

They both like watching drama series, and regularly recommend ones to watch, and so I thought of something that could assist with their TV watching.

Now the picture only shows the remains of the present as I didn’t get round to taking a picture of the rest of the contents of the gift. I simply bought them 5 of their favourite snacks and drinks that they like when watching TV. Sweet chilli crisps, ginger beer and chocolate covered raisins were a few things I got them.

Because many of the shows they watch are crime related I also got them notebooks addressed as case books so they could write down who they think had done it on the series they are watching.

It just goes to show that presents don’t need to break the bank in order to be liked. The snacks were eaten pretty quickly and the notebooks don’t take up too much room either.

Thoughtful presents: Binging boxsets

My friend Hayley also known as Rock turned 30 back in August. I didn’t get her anything straight away as I couldn’t figure out the perfect gift. But an off comment she said in a message a few weeks ago gave me an idea.

She gets through TV shows at a rapid rate. Rock got through 12 series of Greys Anatomy in an extremely fast time, I did wonder if she got any sleep! With this in mind when she said she’d run out of boxsets to watch and was thinking of rewatching Greys Anatomy again for the 3rd time, I knew I could do something.

Getting a Netflix subscription for a year could be costly, and sometimes too much choice is even tougher than not having enough choice. And for me it just didn't seem a personally thoughtful gift. So I thought to get her the first series of a several different TV shows of different genres. A taster of them, and if it turns out she likes any of the shows then she can go on and watch the rest of the series on her own accord.

I got the boxsets from the ever trusty Cex, and it cost me roughly £10. I remember a time when a boxset cost me £30 each!

Challenge within a challenge: To be tidy and have less; once and for all

Every year since around the age of 10 I have given myself the new years resolution of wanting to be tidy. And every year I fail. I always find something better to do than tidy up. I also have a problem in that I have a lot of stuff. I’m not a hoarder, but I just seem to have a lot of things. I’m not a shopaholic, yet I always have bags of things to be sorted.

I guess the main time I accumulated a big amount of material posessions was when I was at uni, and I have thrown out a large amount of these items since. But life goes on and you need new things as you acquire new skills or new tastes.

I’ve seen those challenges around of chucking out one thing per day and increasing it during a 30 day stint. What I want to do is have throwing out things as part of my daily routine. As bold as it sounds I want to throw out 2-5 things everyday. It may seem bold, but I’ve started doing an audit of exactly how many posessions I own. I haven’t finished that task as it’s a working progress, but with close to 150 DVDs and 45 items of gym wear, I know I can start getting rid of stuff easily.

It won’t be straight into the bin. The things I throw out will be either given to charity or recycled.

Following my journalism degree, I’ve always had a large amount of magazines and paper in general. Years ago I used to collect In Style magazine as I thought it made me sophisticated. And I thought piling up my collection, like Carrie Bradshaw did in Sex and the City with her Vogue magazines would be stylish. What it looked like was a mess and that I was a hoarder. And I decided to weigh my collection which was around 4-5 years old, and it weighed half my body weight!

Today I watched a great documentary on Netflix called Minimalism: A Documentary about Important Things and it was really interesting. And while I may not reach true minimalism, it’s made me realise that most of the stuff I have, I don’t need. I thought this for a while, but now is the time to truly attack the mass of possessions that I own.

I’ll keep a log of what I throw out. Throwing out rubbish such as packaging waste for recycling won’t count as it’s general waste. I think that the first few weeks it will be easy, a bit like with weight loss, the pounds go down a little faster in the beginning. It’s the weeks and months that follow that it slows down. But I hope if I build this little task into my daily routine, my mind-set may shift and hopefully I will own a lot less by the end of the year.

So let 2018 begin, with more tidying and hopefully less possessions!

Thoughtful presents: A pack of cards

I’ve used a pack of cards twice this year as a present for friends going through tough times. Earlier in the year my flatmate was going through a bad breakup and to distract her I gave her a pack of cards with bits of trivia written on each card. This was a short term fix to keep her busy and it did keep her from thinking about her ex, even if it was just for a little while.

The other day I asked my old flatmate how her studies were going, as she is studying to be a solicitor, and she said it wasn’t great. She felt like she had bitten off more than she could chew and that she was really struggling.

I obviously couldn’t do the course for her, but I thought what could I do to motivate her and to give her a bit of a boost. And then I thought of a pack of cards. I decided to write a motivational quote about career, tough times and determination on each card. As she has a lot of course work, watching a film about tough times would take too much time. A quote would be quick to read and hopefully give that boost she’d need to conquer the work she was doing.

I was at a pub the other night and a couple asked what I was doing, as I was busy writing the quotes. I explained and they asked if they could read a few, and picked them out like they were fortune cookies!

At the moment I’m not sure how it was received as I only posted it the day before yesterday, but fingers crossed it gets her back on track and helps her feel a little less stressed.

Thoughtful presents: Recovery care package

I’ve known my friend Alice a very long time and know how important her family are to her. A few weeks ago her sister went in for an operation and I decided to make a care package for her and Alice’s parents for when she got out.

Quite often we think about keeping people entertained while they are in hospital, but we forget that if there is recovery as well, that part maybe tedious at time.

The care package is full of little games and things to keep her sister and parents entertained. I didn’t realise at the time that Alice’s mum was also going into hospital shortly afterwards for a hip operation, so the care package had double the use!

Thoughtful presents: You learn something new everyday

So technically this isn’t a thoughtful present, but it is a thoughtful gesture that I have done a few times that I thought I would share.

This year I know a few people that have gone through tough times and naturally I want to be there for them in the best possible way. However the tough times they are going or went through I haven’t been through myself. Quite often this can happen and you worry about whether you’ll say the right thing or not. It reminds me of something my mum said about how when my older sister passed away, one of the worst things after her passing was seeing people she knew in the street, and that they crossed the road upon seeing my mum because they didn’t know what to say to her. Although it wasn’t a conscious decision at the time my mum told me that, I knew that I didn’t want to be one of the people that crossed the street. I wanted to be prepared.

And the best way I know to be prepared or informed about a subject area I don’t know is to read about it. Reading with a purpose. The last time I read with a purpose was the library summer reading schemes I did as a child. I looked through the certificates I got for those, and I read a lot in those summers! That was the last time I probably read to a deadline regularly.

Life doesn’t come with deadlines and it’s unexpected when people you know go through tough times. The first time I read with a purpose to help was for my ex a couple of years ago. He had wanted to get back to his old self after going through a very traumatic time. I had heard about CBT and thought it matched his mindset perfectly. So I rushed to Waterstones, bought CBT for Dummies and read it in 2 weeks and suggested he'd read it and give it a go. Reading a textbook back to back is not fun, but I thought if it would help him get back to his old self then it would be useful to read the book. But as I learnt at the age of 3, you can’t force people to like you, and in a similar guise, you can’t force people to read a book. As far as I know the book is still gathering dust on his bookshelf.

After this I changed my tact. I wouldn’t give people books that I had read, rather I’d simply impart the knowledge I learnt from the book. Particularly with mental health, as I have said in a previous post, one size doesn’t fit all. So what I do know is a similar method that one of my lecturers did at uni. I throw several ideas out, and hope one sticks.

I’ve done this a few times recently. The first with the Option B book by Sheryl Sandberg. A close friend of mine is going through unbelievable grief and I wanted to help straight away. The last person that passed away in my life was my 101 year old Grandma, so we knew her time was at an end with her passing. But grief of a younger person is completely different. The Option B book is amazing and I read it in a weekend. I folded the corner of so many pages as there were so many ideas that I thought would be great in supporting my friend. And a few that I have tried so far have worked, and they’ve helped me think of other ideas too.

Reinvent Me is another great book which I bought after going to a workshop on the book and read in a few days. I’ve got a friend who’s going through a troublesome time with her career and I think the visualising part of the book will assist in seeing things in a different way, and will ultimately give her a bit of a boost.

Lastly I read Fearne Cotton’s Happy book after a friend of mine recently got diagnosed with depression. I had read another book on depression years ago, so I had already read into the subject before. Although the Happy book isn’t completely about depression, it does give tips on ways of coping. So I’m going to write to my friend today with some ideas that might be useful tools for her.

You might think I put pressure on myself to read these books in a fast turnaround time, but when someone in your life is going through a tough time; you want the tough times to start getting better yesterday, and that’s why I read the books and absorb them as fast as I can. Life is busy so maybe reading a book for someone might not be feasible, but maybe sending a song or a quote or an article you read might help them through that tough time, and be a quicker way to show you are there for someone.

Thoughtful presents: Sock-cakes

My friend Michelle’s birthday is a few days before mine and we both like cakes whether its eating or baking them.

A while ago she randomly dropped into conversation that she likes socks, especially the furry ones and I wondered whether I could combine cakes and socks. It turns out I can with what is known as the sock-cakes!

I was originally going to present these on a card cupcake stand, but this was impossible to find, so I found a nice tray from Poundland. They do a great baking range there and I need to go back and stock up. The silicon cupcake cases you can also get from Poundland but I got mine from Wilkinsons and the socks were from New Look.

To make the socks look like cakes, (and believe me from afar they do look like cakes) I got the pairs together, rolled them up and then put an elastic band around them. Then when putting them in the cases I pulled the band down so it was hidden by the cases.

I think Michelle like the gift, although her baby daughter started getting grumpy and Michelle had to see if she was okay, so she didn’t really get time to look at the present.

Screenwriting: London Screenwriters Festival

From the 15-17 September I went to the London Screenwriters Festival! I found out about it last year, but didn’t go as I didn’t think I was ready. With a couple of new screenplays under my belt I thought now was the right time.

I didn’t know what to expect, but in the days leading upto it started to look at the sessions on offer, and with one of them being about Pixar and the art of storytelling, I started to get really excited. The festival had five streams of talks and going in I thought it would be a great opportunity to learn lots and meet like minded people.

And that’s pretty much what the festival did. There were hundreds of people all with different levels of experience; some people hadn’t written anything, others had several short films made, and others who had just written one project. It was really interesting to talk to others about their writing processes and see what I could learn from that. I was a bit wary of talking about all my different ideas I had, but I ended up just talking mostly about what I had written on in the past and what I was working on currently. There wasn’t a writer that was writing for the same genre, as most people I met wrote dramas, and it will be useful to keep in contact with them, for when I write darker pieces.
What was surprising was how generous people were with their time; ranging from other delegates, to speakers. It was hard to gauge how much time to spend with each delegate. I didn’t want to spend too long because I thought otherwise I might miss out on meeting someone who could provide a different opportunity or approach to writing that I might benefit.

The festival had a few extra sessions on which you had to book in advanced, these were the Pitchfest, Table Reads and Speed Networking. I only went to the networking, but upon hearing from others who took part in the first two, I definitely want to do those next year, even if they do feel extremely daunting!

The speed networking was beneficial but was a bit of a blur as it was an hour session and you only had 2 minutes to talk to each person. Some people stood out and I got lots of business cards, but the people that I spoke to before and after the session stuck in my mind.

I left the festival, firstly completely knackered. But I left with a nice group of screenwriters that share the same enthusiasm about screenwriting, and don’t glaze over when I go in depth about screenwriting ideas, which some people who don’t write sometimes do. They have also said they would like to read my screenplays and provide feedback which will be invaluable. I learnt way more than I expected. I learnt a lot about the industry, how you need to be strategic, and make opportunities yourself, and about how to improve my work straightaway. I took lots of notes from the sessions I went to, and a fair amount of new ideas for screenplays I’m already writing. I even started listening to On the Page podcasts, which is a podcast series one of the speakers runs, and I’m learning a lot from them already.

Now it’s just the constant balance of trying to fit the day job and screenwriting in. I left with a great enthusiasm and motivation. I just need to keep the momentum going!

Pictures from London Screenwriters Festival; photographer Naomi Koiji Paton.

Thoughtful presents: One size does not fit all

This is a particularly tricky blog post to write, but one I felt I would attempt to say a few words on. Over the past few months there have been a few people in my life that have gone through mental health issues. (My apologies if that is the incorrect term.) I’m not going to say their names as it isn’t important but they have all been dealing with depression and anxiety.

When you see people in your life go through these things, I have a particular reflex that I have to do something to make their life better in some way, but not necessarily give a solution. There is no end date for someone being free of a mental health issue.

What I have come to learn is that one size doesn’t fit all. 2 people I know were both going through depression and anxiety. Both let me know what was going on and while one wanted me around, the other upon offering to keep them company, they said they didn’t want to see people.

Trying to show support from afar can be tricky. Quite often we can say to friends who are going through a tough time I’ll be there for you, but I feel that doesn’t really do much.

Although the internet isn’t professional advice, I wanted to see from real people what helps them when they are going through depression and anxiety. Buzzfeed gave me some great ideas and I created 2 care packages for people I knew going through anxiety.

The packages included a water bottle to keep hydrated, playdough to play with and keep distracted with. A puzzle book to keep the mind busy, a notebook to draw doodles in, socks to wear for long walks, bubbles to blow, a favourite book to read and a nicely scented candle. I thought if I put a variety of things that may help, then at least one might have the right impact. And the people i gave the packages to said about the things in the packages that helped which was a good sign.

I bought the person that couldn’t see people during the dark times a necklace to symbolise that even though they couldn’t see people, it gave the feeling they weren’t alone.

When giving gifts you have to be careful not to bombard the person. One gift is enough to say that you are there for that person unconditionally. I give the gifts a couple of days after I know what that person is going through. I do this just so the person has forgotten the conversation we had and is now focused onto something else.

Since the people in my life have hit their lowest points, I check in from time to time to ensure they don’t feel pressured in giving updates. Cards are a great thing to give if you just want to remind someone you are there for them, and a symbol of how far they’ve come in their journey.

I’m not sure if this blog post has been of help to anyone, or whether I’ve been to blasé about mental health issues. It’s something I’m constantly learning about. I read a book called Sunbathing in the Sun years ago, which is about depression. Becoming more knowledgeable about mental health isn’t going to make me an expert, and that’s not what I set out to do. But I hope that I can be a better person and support to those I know going through mental health issues.

Thoughtful presents: Leaving on a jet plane

My friend Coops and his girlfriend Fran who I’ve become friends with as well are heading off to New Zealand for 18 months. Yesterday they had farewell drinks and I thought it was an occasion that needed a present.

I thought the best thing to get them was an airport/flight care package. After asking a couple of friends who’d travelled a fair bit for some ideas I came up with the below.

I bought them a couple of magazines; Coops loves films so Empire magazine was best. For Fran I got her Psychologies magazine as I thought fashion and girlie magazines weren’t her sort of thing. I also put in a colouring book and puzzle book to keep boredom away and some fluffy warm socks for the flight itself.

They weren’t expecting anything, so their surprised reaction was nice to see.

Thoughtful presents: First time mums

Over the years quite a few of my friends have been pregnant and it’s easy to think of a present for when the baby is born, but not so easy to think of what to get somebody who has just announced they are pregnant.

I’ve given this present twice, first to my friend Michelle when she was pregnant last year, and secondly a few months back to a colleague of mine who announced she was pregnant also.

When Michelle first told me she was pregnant I wondered what could I get her to say congrats but also be helpful. Alas my two week work placement at Mother and Baby magazine during my Journalism degree did not prove useful in thinking of an idea. Partly because I spent the majority of the time photocopying!

So I googled what expectant mums would be going through in the first trimester and found that they would be getting increasingly tired and needed more water than usual. There were other things as well, probably to do with food, but I thought people’s food tastes are so different and change so much with pregnancy that I thought it was best to steer clear of food.

I then thought to keep it simple and buy a water bottle and a cushion. Both my colleague and Michelle commuted to work, so both presents were needed and greatly appreciated.

Thoughtful presents: Not costing the earth

I find the whole issue of how much we spend on presents really interesting. I’m a firm believer that affection shouldn’t come at a cost. I remember at school and uni, people would talk about how much they would spend on Christmas presents for their family and it would be around £200 and I was shocked.

My family pride ourselves on getting a bargain. It doesn’t mean that a family member isn’t less deserving of a gift because we didn’t spend so much on them. It means we can spend money on a greater number of people if we wish. I remember one Christmas Lucy bought Lisa series 1-5 of CSI, and she had to explain the cost because HMV had made a major error in their labelling and instead of £30 or so, it was £3 or roundabouts that figure! It was that great a bargain that the story had to be told.

On Tuesday I caught up with my friend Laura who I hadn’t seen in a couple of months. It was her birthday on Monday and I said that I would treat her to some gelato at Fabios. I also had bought a lucky dip bag from Tiger, which happened to be her favourite shop. I had no idea what was in it, but as you can see she got some random gifts. I didn’t realise that she actually loved the bird clips in the bag and had a few already and wanted some more.

She loved the lucky dip bag and the gelato; with the bag costing £2 and the gelato just over £3, a fiver for happiness for a friend isn’t bad going.

Thoughtful present: A party in a box

A few weeks ago I saw the live streaming of the National Theatre production of Angels in America at my local cinema. It was in two parts shown over two consecutive weeks. The first part was 3 hours 20 minutes and the second part was 4 hours 20 minutes (each part had a couple of intervals thrown in.) It was an epic play with amazing performances by the whole cast, and the staging and lighting were of a very high standard as well.

What stayed with me afterwards was ability the whole cast had to remember what was in essence the duration of several plays. And furthermore had the high energy to give thought provoking, funny and sensitive performances night after night.

I’ve written to a cast of a show before when I thought it was really good, but I thought that wouldn’t be enough this time. My sister Lucy knew someone who worked at the theatre itself and he advised against giving anything baked. The first thing I thought about when leaving the streaming of the play was that the cast need a long holiday, but I’m not a millionaire so I couldn’t send them to a tropical island!

I then thought that letting their hair down and having a party might be the next best option. So I visited one of my favourite shops Tiger and bought things to make a party in box or party package which has a nice ring to it. Novelty glasses were the main contributor, and I also bought some funky straws and disposable shot glasses. In a stroke of luck, I also found some sashes that said ‘I was hot in the 80s; which was pretty apt as the play is set in the 80s!

I dropped off the party pack to stage door early this evening. Who knows if it will be used at a party they may have. Even though there were a few well-known actors in the cast including Oscar nominated Andrew Garfield, I’m sure they’d appreciate a surprise thoughtful present from time to time.

Random act of kindness: Good customer service should be rewarded

Last week I was heading towards the hill at the end of my street for a brisk walk when I got stopped by a stranger asking me where the nearest hotel was. It was the next street along and as I hadn’t any urgent plans I thought I’d walk her there myself.

We got to the hotel and she hadn’t booked anything in advanced and she was a bit startled at the cost. She asked me if I knew of any other hotels and luckily I did as I used to work at one close by. I gave them a call and unfortunately they were fully booked. You would think that would be the end of the conversation but the receptionist went onto give me the details of other hotels close by, and their contact details. To save me time calling around she even checked Booking.com to see if there was availability. Bear in mind this hotel was fully booked and not gaining anything by helping me, I thought she went above and beyond.

Upon talking to the stranger some more I found out her name was Lisa and she’d travelled from France and was back up to Edinburgh the next door, not before presenting a poster at an event at a university. She was extremely tired, so even though the hotel I showed her to was the more expensive option, she booked a room there.

So there was the random act of kindness that I helped a stranger get a hotel room, but I also wanted to say thanks to the receptionist at the hotel I called. Luckily I was still in contact with the Front of House Manager, so I contacted her just to double check the name of the receptionist. I then wrote a little note and bought a bar of chocolate and dropped it off at the reception desk.

I’ve no idea if she has received it or her reaction; that’s not important. What I thought was important was that good customer service that goes above and beyond is recognised, which sometimes isn’t the case. Sometimes it’s easier to make a compliant because you’re hoping for a refund of sort, some sort of personal gain. Having worked in a couple of venues I recognise that at the end of the day venue staff work really hard and put up with a lot.

And who doesn’t like a free bar of chocolate? Free food always tastes better!

Thoughtful presents: They don’t always go right

Throughout this blog I’ve mentioned random acts of kindness and thoughtful presents that I’ve given. Social media has a way of being able to highlight when things go right, but if I did that all the time then it wouldn’t be real life. Things go wrong and this week a thoughtful present/act of kindness went wrong.

One of my creative friends was going through a tough time as a family member was in and out of hospital. When I hear somebody I know is going through a tough time, I have a reflex that I have to do something to make things better. Not to solve the problem because I haven’t got a magic wand in life. I just feel a surprise present, act of kindness or whatever you want to call it, might make a tough day a bit better.

So back to my creative friend, I thought making some granola bars might do the trick. They’re a good source of energy and healthy. I got my friends address and like all acts of kindness I was all set to do a doorstop drop off because some people get awkward in accepting kindness. I was all set…and then I saw on his Instagram that he was on holiday! So I had a batch of granola bars but with nowhere to go. Luckily with anything I bake; family, flatmates, and work colleagues are happy to eat them. 

This isn’t the first time a kindness idea hasn’t gone the way I planned it. A friend of mine last year had her first baby. She had lost her mum when she was a teenager and although she had female relatives around her, I thought it would be great to get some advice on motherhood from some well-known mum’s. I wrote to around 15, and had planned to write to more. But I only got 2 replies; one was from JK Rowling’s people saying she doesn’t reply to individual letters. The other was in a week of writing and was from Jo Elvin, who is the editor of Glamour magazine. She wrote a lovely letter for my friend and really put the time into writing. I didn’t get the outcome I wanted, maybe I just wrote to the wrong people.

And when I did a random act of kindness day I tried to give a dog a bone! It’s seriously hard to do. The owners are close by and would get suspicious of a stranger giving their dog a bone. In the end I just had to leave it in a park and hope a dog would find it!

In the news you hear lots about random acts of kindness and the successes, but you hear less about the ones where the intentions are good, but don’t pay off. They should be rewarded just as much because at the end of the day, doing something for a stranger is a risk, you don’t know how they’ll react whether it will be good or bad.

If an act of kindness doesn’t pan out, don’t be put off. It’s all about timing and sometimes even acts of kindness, however great they are can have a case of the right place wrong time. And if you’ve experienced that in an act of kindness you’ve done, I urge you to keep going, and I applaud your efforts.

Now does anybody want some granola??

Thoughtful presents: A year long wedding present

Just over a year ago Kate and Dan got married. Kate is sisters with my flatmate Rachel and I’ve known the couple for many years. I’ve noticed over the past few years that most couples who get married request money for their honeymoon, and unless I don’t know the couple very well, I don’t really like giving money as I feel it’s just going to spend it on drinks which will then be in the toilet a few hours later!
 

So where possible I like to be thoughtful, and with Kate and Dan I thought what could I do different? Coming from a Wedding Coordinator background I often wondered what married couples talk about once the wedding is over. All that build up and then it’s over in a day. I wanted to keep the celebration feeling last a little longer.

The traditional present for the anniversary of the first year of marriage is paper. And with this in mind I decided to give Kate and Dan a paper related gift every month in their first year of marriage. The first present I gave them was on their wedding day and this was a newspaper, which they both really appreciated as they were meaning to get someone to buy one but they forgot. It’s a great keepsake, and it’ll be pretty interesting reading in the future.

Other presents included:
•    The number one fiction book the day they got married.
•    A scratch map.
•    Disposable cameras, photo album a list of things to take pictures of for a photo scavenger hunt.
•    Paper craft kit
•    A paper brussel sprout (you guessed it, this was December’s present)
•    A book about the best bars in the world
•    Lonely Planet magazine
•    Draw your own caricatures set
•    An address book which I turned into a restaurant guide, to list all their favourite restaurants
•    A jigsaw puzzle.

Their final present was my favourite present and it was personalised paperchains. Thanks to a sale on Not on the High Street, I managed to get these half price, so it was a bonus that I got a bargain. The set included over 50 strips to make paperchains with, and you could choose up to 16 images, so I chose ones from the stag and hen do’s as well as the wedding itself.

 

I really liked how they turned out, and Rachel set them out for Kate and Dan when they all went on a family holiday to Greece. They even wore them as wristbands.

I had a lot of fun thinking of different presents on the same theme. I had some initial ideas when I thought of the theme, but was glad other things popped up on the way.

Challenge within a challenge: Back in events

Challenges come in all shapes of sizes; in our daily lives we can be challenged, even if we don’t set these challenges ourselves.

From 2009 to the start of 2013 I worked in events, and then until February this year I worked in team support and PA roles. However, this sort of work was mundane to me and it made me realise I wanted to work back in events. Getting back into events work was a challenge enough as the large majority of the time potential recruiters and employers could only see my most recent employment in support roles and not see beyond that, and the fact that I had 5 years of solid events experience.

Last year I decided to take matters into my own hands and in a small way try to make things happen, and started volunteering at charity networking events to get my foot back into events. I did this for a year and as a result of volunteering, the company I was doing this for actually did recruitment as well, and ultimately put me forward for the job I’m now in today.

I’ve been in my current job since the start of February and it’s been a bit of adjustment getting back into events. I thought it would be easy but there is a difference between being busy as a PA and busy in an events role.

Tomorrow I start working on a week long course which is a very high in demand revision course for 150 delegates total spread over 5 days. The set up and the days themselves are complex and long. I was at work on Friday night till 8.45 setting up with my manager. There are lot of circuits of different materials and different sets of timings that all the delegates have to abide to. The real kicker is I have to be at work at 6.30am, and commuting in it will be a really early start for me (3 or 4am!)

There are several things I’m nervous about; exactly how tiring will it be? How will I keep up the energy up, it will fill like Groundhog Day as every day is an identical set up. Will I make mistakes?
I was thinking to the last 5-day event that I worked on was back in 2012. It was a 5-day residential course which took place in Loughborough. It was a great week, the faculty were lovely and the core team of me, the events coordinator Emma and our colleague Ashley from Washington worked really well together. Ashley and I became quick friends (as pictured below) and she showed me to Michael Buble singing about Russian Unicorns which will always make me laugh. I still hope to visit Ashley one day in Washington. Although it was a long week, surprisingly I still had time to train for Tough Mudder everyday in the gym for an hour as soon as the gym was open. I’ve no idea how I managed to get the energy for that and how I was still standing, but somehow I did.

With tomorrow I’m hoping that my neighbours don’t have late night parties tonight (letters have been posted.) My outfits for the week have been planned, my evening light meals will by the end of today will have been made. I plan to read some of my favourite books each night before bed, and listen to a Desert Island Disc each night to help me sleep. Eat, commute, work, commute, read, relax, sleep repeat will be my week. Bring on Friday evening!

Thoughtful presents: Music in the future, from the past

A couple of months ago my friend Michelle had a baby girl called Millie. It’s her first child and I’ve had a few friends who have got children and I’m also at a loss at what to get. Toys and clothes are the obvious, but babies grow out of clothes quickly and move on from toys just as fast. I got my thinking cap on as to what I could get that might last a little longer and then I had an idea.

Michelle did a clever thing which not all my friends have had children have done, she text me after a couple of days saying what date Millie had been born on. Sometimes you hear about when babies arrive, but they don’t mention their birth date. This is all important in the present that I got.

What I bought was the album which was number one at the time Millie was born, and the number single. Although with singles no longer being readily available, she ended up getting another album. Millie’s full name is Emelia and Elbow had the number one album with Little Fictions, and the number one single was Shape of You by Ed Sheeran. So it was a week of the letter E. It was also a good thing she arrived when she did, if she arrived earlier then she would’ve got a Justin Bieber song as the number one single!

I wrote a letter with the CDs and the present and letter are to be opened by Millie when she is older and starts appreciating music and likes reading letters. So I’m hoping this will be 6 and upwards. The letter states how I know her parents, why music is important and how it’s a great thing to enjoy and help you through the good times and the bad, and how fun it is to dance.

I really enjoyed writing the letter. I’ve given Michelle the choice of when she gives the present to Millie. She says it’s going to be in her wardrobe until that point. I’m excited for the future and when Millie will open her present. I want to start backdating this sort of present with other friend’s children, especially the ones that are a bit older. It will be really interesting to see what music was number one when they were born.