Thoughtful presents: One size does not fit all

This is a particularly tricky blog post to write, but one I felt I would attempt to say a few words on. Over the past few months there have been a few people in my life that have gone through mental health issues. (My apologies if that is the incorrect term.) I’m not going to say their names as it isn’t important but they have all been dealing with depression and anxiety.

When you see people in your life go through these things, I have a particular reflex that I have to do something to make their life better in some way, but not necessarily give a solution. There is no end date for someone being free of a mental health issue.

What I have come to learn is that one size doesn’t fit all. 2 people I know were both going through depression and anxiety. Both let me know what was going on and while one wanted me around, the other upon offering to keep them company, they said they didn’t want to see people.

Trying to show support from afar can be tricky. Quite often we can say to friends who are going through a tough time I’ll be there for you, but I feel that doesn’t really do much.

Although the internet isn’t professional advice, I wanted to see from real people what helps them when they are going through depression and anxiety. Buzzfeed gave me some great ideas and I created 2 care packages for people I knew going through anxiety.

The packages included a water bottle to keep hydrated, playdough to play with and keep distracted with. A puzzle book to keep the mind busy, a notebook to draw doodles in, socks to wear for long walks, bubbles to blow, a favourite book to read and a nicely scented candle. I thought if I put a variety of things that may help, then at least one might have the right impact. And the people i gave the packages to said about the things in the packages that helped which was a good sign.

I bought the person that couldn’t see people during the dark times a necklace to symbolise that even though they couldn’t see people, it gave the feeling they weren’t alone.

When giving gifts you have to be careful not to bombard the person. One gift is enough to say that you are there for that person unconditionally. I give the gifts a couple of days after I know what that person is going through. I do this just so the person has forgotten the conversation we had and is now focused onto something else.

Since the people in my life have hit their lowest points, I check in from time to time to ensure they don’t feel pressured in giving updates. Cards are a great thing to give if you just want to remind someone you are there for them, and a symbol of how far they’ve come in their journey.

I’m not sure if this blog post has been of help to anyone, or whether I’ve been to blasé about mental health issues. It’s something I’m constantly learning about. I read a book called Sunbathing in the Sun years ago, which is about depression. Becoming more knowledgeable about mental health isn’t going to make me an expert, and that’s not what I set out to do. But I hope that I can be a better person and support to those I know going through mental health issues.