Thoughtful presents: They don’t always go right

Throughout this blog I’ve mentioned random acts of kindness and thoughtful presents that I’ve given. Social media has a way of being able to highlight when things go right, but if I did that all the time then it wouldn’t be real life. Things go wrong and this week a thoughtful present/act of kindness went wrong.

One of my creative friends was going through a tough time as a family member was in and out of hospital. When I hear somebody I know is going through a tough time, I have a reflex that I have to do something to make things better. Not to solve the problem because I haven’t got a magic wand in life. I just feel a surprise present, act of kindness or whatever you want to call it, might make a tough day a bit better.

So back to my creative friend, I thought making some granola bars might do the trick. They’re a good source of energy and healthy. I got my friends address and like all acts of kindness I was all set to do a doorstop drop off because some people get awkward in accepting kindness. I was all set…and then I saw on his Instagram that he was on holiday! So I had a batch of granola bars but with nowhere to go. Luckily with anything I bake; family, flatmates, and work colleagues are happy to eat them. 

This isn’t the first time a kindness idea hasn’t gone the way I planned it. A friend of mine last year had her first baby. She had lost her mum when she was a teenager and although she had female relatives around her, I thought it would be great to get some advice on motherhood from some well-known mum’s. I wrote to around 15, and had planned to write to more. But I only got 2 replies; one was from JK Rowling’s people saying she doesn’t reply to individual letters. The other was in a week of writing and was from Jo Elvin, who is the editor of Glamour magazine. She wrote a lovely letter for my friend and really put the time into writing. I didn’t get the outcome I wanted, maybe I just wrote to the wrong people.

And when I did a random act of kindness day I tried to give a dog a bone! It’s seriously hard to do. The owners are close by and would get suspicious of a stranger giving their dog a bone. In the end I just had to leave it in a park and hope a dog would find it!

In the news you hear lots about random acts of kindness and the successes, but you hear less about the ones where the intentions are good, but don’t pay off. They should be rewarded just as much because at the end of the day, doing something for a stranger is a risk, you don’t know how they’ll react whether it will be good or bad.

If an act of kindness doesn’t pan out, don’t be put off. It’s all about timing and sometimes even acts of kindness, however great they are can have a case of the right place wrong time. And if you’ve experienced that in an act of kindness you’ve done, I urge you to keep going, and I applaud your efforts.

Now does anybody want some granola??

Thoughtful presents: A year long wedding present

Just over a year ago Kate and Dan got married. Kate is sisters with my flatmate Rachel and I’ve known the couple for many years. I’ve noticed over the past few years that most couples who get married request money for their honeymoon, and unless I don’t know the couple very well, I don’t really like giving money as I feel it’s just going to spend it on drinks which will then be in the toilet a few hours later!
 

So where possible I like to be thoughtful, and with Kate and Dan I thought what could I do different? Coming from a Wedding Coordinator background I often wondered what married couples talk about once the wedding is over. All that build up and then it’s over in a day. I wanted to keep the celebration feeling last a little longer.

The traditional present for the anniversary of the first year of marriage is paper. And with this in mind I decided to give Kate and Dan a paper related gift every month in their first year of marriage. The first present I gave them was on their wedding day and this was a newspaper, which they both really appreciated as they were meaning to get someone to buy one but they forgot. It’s a great keepsake, and it’ll be pretty interesting reading in the future.

Other presents included:
•    The number one fiction book the day they got married.
•    A scratch map.
•    Disposable cameras, photo album a list of things to take pictures of for a photo scavenger hunt.
•    Paper craft kit
•    A paper brussel sprout (you guessed it, this was December’s present)
•    A book about the best bars in the world
•    Lonely Planet magazine
•    Draw your own caricatures set
•    An address book which I turned into a restaurant guide, to list all their favourite restaurants
•    A jigsaw puzzle.

Their final present was my favourite present and it was personalised paperchains. Thanks to a sale on Not on the High Street, I managed to get these half price, so it was a bonus that I got a bargain. The set included over 50 strips to make paperchains with, and you could choose up to 16 images, so I chose ones from the stag and hen do’s as well as the wedding itself.

 

I really liked how they turned out, and Rachel set them out for Kate and Dan when they all went on a family holiday to Greece. They even wore them as wristbands.

I had a lot of fun thinking of different presents on the same theme. I had some initial ideas when I thought of the theme, but was glad other things popped up on the way.

Challenge within a challenge: Back in events

Challenges come in all shapes of sizes; in our daily lives we can be challenged, even if we don’t set these challenges ourselves.

From 2009 to the start of 2013 I worked in events, and then until February this year I worked in team support and PA roles. However, this sort of work was mundane to me and it made me realise I wanted to work back in events. Getting back into events work was a challenge enough as the large majority of the time potential recruiters and employers could only see my most recent employment in support roles and not see beyond that, and the fact that I had 5 years of solid events experience.

Last year I decided to take matters into my own hands and in a small way try to make things happen, and started volunteering at charity networking events to get my foot back into events. I did this for a year and as a result of volunteering, the company I was doing this for actually did recruitment as well, and ultimately put me forward for the job I’m now in today.

I’ve been in my current job since the start of February and it’s been a bit of adjustment getting back into events. I thought it would be easy but there is a difference between being busy as a PA and busy in an events role.

Tomorrow I start working on a week long course which is a very high in demand revision course for 150 delegates total spread over 5 days. The set up and the days themselves are complex and long. I was at work on Friday night till 8.45 setting up with my manager. There are lot of circuits of different materials and different sets of timings that all the delegates have to abide to. The real kicker is I have to be at work at 6.30am, and commuting in it will be a really early start for me (3 or 4am!)

There are several things I’m nervous about; exactly how tiring will it be? How will I keep up the energy up, it will fill like Groundhog Day as every day is an identical set up. Will I make mistakes?
I was thinking to the last 5-day event that I worked on was back in 2012. It was a 5-day residential course which took place in Loughborough. It was a great week, the faculty were lovely and the core team of me, the events coordinator Emma and our colleague Ashley from Washington worked really well together. Ashley and I became quick friends (as pictured below) and she showed me to Michael Buble singing about Russian Unicorns which will always make me laugh. I still hope to visit Ashley one day in Washington. Although it was a long week, surprisingly I still had time to train for Tough Mudder everyday in the gym for an hour as soon as the gym was open. I’ve no idea how I managed to get the energy for that and how I was still standing, but somehow I did.

With tomorrow I’m hoping that my neighbours don’t have late night parties tonight (letters have been posted.) My outfits for the week have been planned, my evening light meals will by the end of today will have been made. I plan to read some of my favourite books each night before bed, and listen to a Desert Island Disc each night to help me sleep. Eat, commute, work, commute, read, relax, sleep repeat will be my week. Bring on Friday evening!

Thoughtful presents: Music in the future, from the past

A couple of months ago my friend Michelle had a baby girl called Millie. It’s her first child and I’ve had a few friends who have got children and I’m also at a loss at what to get. Toys and clothes are the obvious, but babies grow out of clothes quickly and move on from toys just as fast. I got my thinking cap on as to what I could get that might last a little longer and then I had an idea.

Michelle did a clever thing which not all my friends have had children have done, she text me after a couple of days saying what date Millie had been born on. Sometimes you hear about when babies arrive, but they don’t mention their birth date. This is all important in the present that I got.

What I bought was the album which was number one at the time Millie was born, and the number single. Although with singles no longer being readily available, she ended up getting another album. Millie’s full name is Emelia and Elbow had the number one album with Little Fictions, and the number one single was Shape of You by Ed Sheeran. So it was a week of the letter E. It was also a good thing she arrived when she did, if she arrived earlier then she would’ve got a Justin Bieber song as the number one single!

I wrote a letter with the CDs and the present and letter are to be opened by Millie when she is older and starts appreciating music and likes reading letters. So I’m hoping this will be 6 and upwards. The letter states how I know her parents, why music is important and how it’s a great thing to enjoy and help you through the good times and the bad, and how fun it is to dance.

I really enjoyed writing the letter. I’ve given Michelle the choice of when she gives the present to Millie. She says it’s going to be in her wardrobe until that point. I’m excited for the future and when Millie will open her present. I want to start backdating this sort of present with other friend’s children, especially the ones that are a bit older. It will be really interesting to see what music was number one when they were born.

Thoughtful presents: Supporting exam madness

Whenever I talk to one of my friends, if they say they are struggling, or down I automatically think what can I do to help them. And recently my old flatmate Faith said she was right in the middle of exam madness. She’s currently doing law exams and they are notoriously tough. Although I haven’t done law exams to the depth that Faith is I did do GCSE Law and NCTJ Law exams at uni. Both of which I found really difficult and I even failed the NCTJ one first time round.

Studying for exams around full time work shows even more determination and even more energy than when studying for exams at school. I didn’t want to bombard Faith with useless things, but I thought a visit to Paperchase might brighten up her studying days, and also to use a 20% off voucher that I had as well.

I got scented highlighters, because it’s a small reference to Legally Blonde when Elle Woods gives her resume in and it’s scented. I got a little gratitude book where you write 3 things that make you happy each day, so that could provide positivity during stressful times, novelty sunglasses just because they are funny and laughter is good for stress.

Food also made an appearance and after some research I found that pumpkin seeds and blueberries are great for brain power.

Faith was really pleased with the gifts and she said that pumpkin seeds were her favourite so that was the perfect choice.

Challenge within a challenge: Giving Lent a go

Firstly, apologies for not blogging in nearly 2 months! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but in short I’ve got a new job, and my months’ notice at my last job was very stressful and it’s taken a bit of time to adjust to my new job. Hopefully I can blog on a more regular basis from now on.

I’m not really religious. I was brought up going to Quaker meeting and know about the Quaker faith. Last year I started, but albeit did not complete a challenge to read the bible every day for 30 days. However by reading some passages I can see why people have the bible as a source of support.
Traditionally you give up something for Lent to ‘purify’ their bodies, so usually a certain food or alcohol. With so much talk about it in the office, I wondered what I could give up and then it hit me, I could give up films!

As I said in my last post, through not going to the cinema for the year I felt more creative than normal, so by having no films to watch my creativity may increase even more.

I’ve become quite spoilt with films since I started getting the Sky Movie channels and Sky Movies on demand for free. It’s meant I’ve started a particularly bad habit; starting a film but not finishing it and picking another film instead that seems better. There is too much choice and as a result I don’t give films a chance to grow and develop. With the number of film channels I have; myself and Rachel average around 3 films a week, occasionally it’s more or less. That’s a lot of time I’m wasting. A lot of time I could spend doing something else.

There are several things I could do; catch up on TV shows I’m behind on, finish a few of the many books I’ve started, finish a screenplay and start another, more volunteering and many more things. I could even see about completing a few challenges I didn't complete last year, including the bible one.

Lent is also a time of reflection and I’ve started to be in a reflective mood about the future, so I’ll have more time to explore my thoughts.

Of course I may isolate myself a bit as a result, as Rachel still watches films, but as it’s only 40 days it’s not a lifetime.

I’m excited to see how the 40 days pan out; whether I find it easy or a challenge. And whether it has a lasting impact; will I watch less films afterwards? Will my habits of starting a film but not finishing it change?

So it’s lights, camera, action for Lent!

Challenge within a challenge: Surviving a year without cinema

At the start of the year I had a few new year resolutions. I think I said that I wanted to learn to juggle and learn how to fence, but with most if not all resolutions, they don’t last or happen. However, one new year resolution did. Apart from the one exception of going to a movie marathon for my flatmate Rachel’s birthday, which I mentioned before starting the challenge, I haven’t been to the cinema once!

So how was it? To be honest I didn’t miss going to the cinema as much as I thought I would. There were only a few times where I really wanted to see a film but had to miss out. I got asked to go and see Bridget Jones’ Baby a couple of times with different sets of people and because I loved the book so much I wanted to see Me Before You. Apart from those two there were quite a few films I wanted to see, but I wasn’t too fussed ultimately about missing them on the big screen.

In a strange twist of luck in February I got an email from Virgin Media saying that the TV package I was on they were fading out and that they were putting me on the Sky Movie package at no extra cost! So without even trying I got way more of a selection of films then I would get at the cinema at any one time.

With the resolution I thought that some friendships might wane as a result. Ones where the main activity we’d do would be to go to the cinema. Some friendships we did alternative activities and others I just saw less as a result of not going to the cinema. Or it could be that people were busier in 2016.

I’ve come to realise that going to the cinema isn’t a great way of catching up with friends. You meet up just before, and you leave just after the film and that barely gives time to chat. 2 hours in a dark room isn’t that social. So I think going into 2017 I’m going to go to the cinema, but only films that I really want to go to and worthy of seeing on the big screen.

During the year I missed out on just over 25 films, so financially I saved. With every film I missed I read an autobiography, and I’ve fallen a little behind on this. I’ve got about 3-4 books to go. They are my favourite genre of books, but towards the end of the year I got a bit sick of them. I’ve read a great variety; ranging from entrepreneurs to dancers to everyday people overcoming adversity.

Throughout this year I was also more creative than I’ve been in previous years. But I don’t know whether that has anything to do with going to screenwriting and creative groups or cinema being absent.

The challenge was an interesting one; one that I thought I would break but ultimately didn’t. Looking through my IMDB watchlist there’s half a dozen films on there which will be released in 2017. But truthfully only half of them I really want to see.

So here’s to 2017; a year of spending less time sitting in silence and more time in the light.